This week, there’s been a theme with my clients, self love.
Can you resonate with this? One of my clients-let’s call her Cassie-has always been a people pleaser. She’s at the top of everyone’s list when they need something done because she’s always said yes. But she’s feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, angry and used up by life. By the time she was done crossing everything off the to-do list other people had made for her, Cassie had no time or energy to invest in the things that mattered most to her.
In our first session, we talked about her struggle with boundaries and wanting to be “nice.” Of course, this is an issue for SOOOOO many of us! After a lifetime of putting herself last, starting to prioritize herself felt selfish and strange. As Cassie has followed my suggestion to say “no,” she’s started to notice that she has a lot more time for her what makes her happy, which is running and starting to eat healthy for her long term health goals. What used to seem like a time management problem has been revealed for what it really is: a prioritization problem. So, she’s made herself a little less available by not answering every ping and ding the moment it comes through her phone and computer.
This change hasn’t gone unnoticed. When we choose to own our lives, there’s a shift that happens in our relationships too, and well, not everyone is going to like it. It’s okay. Just as we need to retrain our own habits after years of putting ourselves last, we need to do the same with the people in our lives. So, it can get a little messy from time to time. Cassie wasn’t creating enough space for her desires by saying “no” to other people’s agendas that were taking up her time. So, she created boundaries and people started responding.
When we get clear and start living for our own desires,health, needs and wants, magic happens as the people who are worth keeping close develop a deeper sense of trust in us. Why? Because when I can trust that you’ll say no to something, I can trust when you say yes that you won’t later make me pay for it. Relationships with people who are this clear are incredibly easy and refreshing.
Even though it may feel bad to say “no” in the moment, doing something you really don’t want to do that gets in the way of your agenda feels much worse for a lot longer.
I have lived through the experience myself and suffered being out of alignment with my desires for years. And I know the freedom and joy that comes from living life “on purpose.” This is why I love working with women to support them in the process of transformation and self love.
Making simple, subtle tweaks to the great things you’re already doing can make a profound impact on your ability to enjoy your own life and be authentically happy. You’ll be surprised at how excited and empowered you feel when you start to embody this new way of living that prioritizes your needs, your health and your time.
Self-care is a lifelong love affair and practice. Think of it more like brushing your teeth than building a house. There is no arrival point, only the continuous thread of lightness and joy that runs through your life even during the challenging times. Once you’ve had a taste of this level of self-connection, alignment, and embodiment of these tools, the memory remains and will always call you back to yourself. All you need to do is listen and respond.
I’m getting ready to step into my next project and I’d love to hear from you! What do you need to support you in your self-care practice so that you can live your life “on purpose” with more joy and authentic happiness?
Would you like a short 5-day self-care challenge where we play with simple tools and practices to integrate self-care into daily life? We all have plenty to do in life so I’m talking about sustainable activities that take just two to sixty minutes.
Would you rather do a deeper dive, and go for 3-8 weeks challenge (tell me what you’d like) to demystify where you really want to be, and how to start living on your purpose, full of health and happiness.
Please comment below and let me know what appeals to you and/or if you have another idea you’d like to request. I’m all ears ( or eyes I guess)!